Without My Mom on Mother’s Day


I originally posted this two years ago when I was walking through my first Mother’s Day without my mom. The empty chair still calls for her presence. Mother’s Day without her just isn’t the same.

My heart still hurts every time I think of Mother’s Day without her, so I thought I’d share this post again for all those who are without their mothers on Mother’s Day.


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scan0053Hi sweet friends! I’m trying to come to grips with the fact that Mother’s Day is just a few days away! It will be my first Mother’s Day without my mom and I have to confess, I’ve been a bit weepy lately.

How on earth can a girl do Mother’s Day without her mom? I mean, I know that I’m very blessed to have two moms, but the one who loved me and raised me as her own is gone…and all I can say is, “I’m sad.”

But Mother’s Day isn’t supposed to be sad!

So, for everyone who has lost her mother this past year…this post is for you! I’m going to post a little poem I very unskillfully embroidered for my mom when I was a teenager. And then I’ll list 10 things I miss most about my mom.

I’d love for you to comment with the ten things you miss most about your mom. It’s just a way to spend time thinking of the legacy she has left behind and honoring her even though her chair will be empty. She may be gone, but she is not forgotten.

 

Mother

Who gave me love and held my hand
And caught me when I fell
Who never slept to comfort me
When I was scared or ill
Who praised me when I did my best
And wept when I did wrong
Who smiled at silly things I did
And taught me to be strong
Who gave and shared and cheered and cared
With her heart and hands
Who will always be a part of me
My mother, my best friend

The 10 things I miss most about my mom:scan0065

1. Her hands
2. Her voice
3. Her smile
4. Her strength
5. Her wisdom
6. Her conversations
7. Her correction
8. Her laugh
9. Her presence
10. Her love

This Mother’s Day is going to be hard. My heart aches for her. I know this sounds pitiful, but I really want my mommy!

But she’s with Jesus now and I’m thankful God gave me the gift of a conversation with her that confirmed that she knew Him. And, so I rest in knowing that she knew Him and that her faith has now been made sight!

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But I’m also blessed with a precious mother-in-law

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And a WONDERFUL birthmom! 

Oh how bittersweet Mother’s Days have become. Counting my blessings and missing my mom at the same time.

Maybe you are too.

Now it’s your turn, sweet friend. Share the 10 things you miss about your mom; add a little poem or a message of hope to those who have lost their moms.

And please know that I will be lifting you up in prayer this week as you, like me, will be without your mom on Mother’s Day.

P.S.  Since this post was originally written, I have also lost my birthmom. How beautiful to know they are both beholding our Savior! How difficult to know that this Mother’s Day, my phone won’t ring with the sweet words, “Happy Mother’s Day Stephie!” from my birthmom and my mom’s chair will remain empty once again.

 

43 Comments

  1. I don't know if I want to come up with a list. But I do know how this feels. After losing 3 moms, last year was my first year without a mom to send a greeting to. It's hard. I just prayed for you and me.

  2. I just prayed for you. I know this is hard. I miss my mom…but she is still alive! Our relationship is not great, and I long for peace. My mom has little to do with me because she has never understood why my husband and I have made choices we have made with our family. I have had to choose between defending our desire to follow God in the way He has led us, and my mom. God won. But I miss my mom. She just doesn't understand. So, I long for the day that she will understand…but I know that day may never come. So, I join with you today in grieving…and missing my mom.

    With many prayers!
    Grace to you!

  3. Your post has me in tears. My mom is in hospice care now. Next year, this will be me, facing Mother's Day without my mom. Your list is a good reminder to appreciate all those things about my mom now, while I still can. Thanks.

  4. Praying for your sweet spirit today. Your poem has really touched my heart. Thanks for sharing.

  5. Missing my Mother… Her unconditional love, cheer and calming presence…

    I exult in the hope of everlasting life, of seeing her again. In Heaven! Restored, perfected and beholding God's glorious face. Together!

    Saluting my Mother Sarah, who is in the last stages of Alzheimer’s…

  6. Lyn ~ Every commercial about Mother's Day reminds me that mine is gone and it has been very strange this year. So…Thank you for you prayers and please know I'm praying for you too! I'd love to hear back and know the story of “3” moms.

  7. Gina ~ I'm praying for you and your mom now. That God will restore your relationship with her and that fences will be mended and she will be thankful God is the foundation of your life! Thank you so much for reminding me that we can miss our moms even while they're still with us.

  8. Meg ~ My heart hurts for yours right now. I know it's so difficult to walk through this tunnel, but I also know that I was able to see God gift me with many precious moments with my mom I may have otherwise overlooked.
    Praying for you now, Meg! Thank you so much for sharing your story!

  9. Vivian ~ I just talked with a sweet friend whose mother is suffering from dementia and she shared with me how difficult it is to go through the process of losing your mom even while she's present.

    I just want to encourage your heart and remind you to never allow the mom she has become because of the Alzheimer's to erase one precious memory of the mom she has always been.

    Praying for you now, sweet friend!

  10. Cindy ~ Thank you so much for your prayers and support. This strange season has kind of caught me off guard. Every commercial reminds me that she's gone and that Mother's Day will never be the same. Missing her, but thankful for your prayers! They matter!

  11. This is the '1 year' anniversary of my husbands mothers home going. She died May 8th of last year. We have missed her all year and SO remember those last few weeks she was here with us. The dance of death is never easy and the letting go is often harder. Bless you my friend, I pray your day is a day of peace for you. Try to remember good things and journal about them.

  12. Thoughts for the day ~ Thank you so much for sharing your story and for your prayers. I'm praying for you and your family too. I know that Mother's Day will be extra hard since it falls on the anniversary of her home going.

    I'm so thankful God gives us the peace in the midst of the heartache…it truly is peace that passes all understanding!

  13. My heart aches for all of you who have relatively recent losses. I have been without my mother for 21 years. I will say that it does get easier, but the missing is always there. Things like your post, Stephanie, always bring up the tears and the feeling sorry for myself :).

    What I miss most:
    Conversation / her voice
    Visiting / her hugs and love
    Mom's cooking!
    A place for holidays and family together. Without Mom it isn't the same, and family is now spread across the U.S.A.

    Those who *know* your mom is with Jesus, REJOICE! I don't have that comfort, although in my heart, I believe she is.

    One thing I did to ease the Mother's Day blues was to send a card to a favorite aunt who was like a second mother when I was growing up. It wasn't the same, but I am sure she was touched by the gesture.

    Thank you for your post, Stephanie. It has reminded me to pray for the several people in my church who have lost mothers this past year.

  14. Jean.e.lane ~ I'm so sorry this post brought tears to your eyes. Sometimes, it's best not to let our hearts go there. I'm sorry if this post took you there.

    You're so right! Mother's are the glue that holds the family together. The place where we gather for holidays and know we're home. It's hard knowing we don't have that anymore.

    I started trying to make my home the place we gather a couple years ago, but it's not the same. Still…I try. 🙂

    I'm praying for you and those who are in the same shoes we are. (Tonight at church I was reminded of a woman who lost her daughter this past year and how hard Mother's Day is going to be for her. Lifting women that are in her shoes up to our Father too!)

    Thanks so much for sharing your story!

  15. I just lost my mom and can not imagine Mother's Day without her. I miss her so much, hearing her voice, the touch of her hand, the long conversations and advise but most of all the uncondtional love. I know I will see her again one day but it does not help the hurt right now. I miss you mom and I love you Happy Mother's Day in heaven.

  16. Dear Anonymous ~ My heart breaks with yours as we face this Mother's Day with only an empty chair to make things more difficult than they already are! I'm so thankful the God of all comfort is able to touch our hearts and bring hope and healing to the painful places of our hearts!

    Please know that I am praying for you and that although I don't know your name, our Heavenly Father not only knows you … He loves you and sees you and is able to speak peace to your heart in the midst of this storm.

  17. There is an extra sadness on Mother's Day. My mom has been sick with Alzheimer's for many years now and she is profoundly different than the mom I once knew.
    10 things I miss about my mom…
    her honesty
    our friendship
    her warm personality
    her giving spirit
    her tender touch
    her smile
    her laugh
    her awesome cooking, always in the kitchen
    her talking up a storm
    and even though it's not a memory, I wish she could have had the chance to be a loving Grandma to our 2 young children.

  18. Anonymous ~ Oh, sweet friend, my heart hurst for you during this difficult time. I just talked with a friend whose mom is dealing with dementia. It's hard when the mom you've always known is no longer the same mom.

    But I want to encourage you to never let the mom she is with Alzheimer's mar the memories of the mom you've always known.

    Praying for you!

  19. Thank you so much, Stephanie! Your words are comforting. We have a strong family which helps a lot. And on a very rare occasion, she has shown me a glimpse of her true self where she might show a smile or say a sentence that has meaning. She does know my name and the names of other family members which is a good thing. When something like this happens, it's the smallest of things that matter. I think it's a good time to look over some old photo albums of my mom and share them with my kids. Thank you for your prayers. Your words about your mom are very moving…Hope you special memories of her bring you comfort. Will pray for you too. Karen

  20. Last Mother's Day, my Mom gave me a card, it read…
    “Thanks for letting me be your Mother”.
    She died 2 months later from cancer.

    I miss her laugh, her sense of humor, her smile, her wit, her strength, the sound of her voice, the way she smelled of Oil of Olay, her opinions, her unconditional love and especially, our daily chats.

    I miss my best friend!

    The hurt fades, but the missing never goes away!!

    God sent an angel to this earth,
    I called you Mother who raised me from birth.
    You listened to me through laughter and tears,
    and were there for me for so many years.

    Now what can I do, Oh, what can I say?
    For God has taken my angel away.
    To spread your wings far above,
    to fill the sky with your beautiful love.

    The most giving woman I've ever known,
    but now our Lord has called you home.
    A life eternal in His loving care,
    by His grace one day I'll see you there.

    Goodbye for now, Mom, until we meet again;
    My angel, my mother, and my best friend.

  21. My Anonymous Friend ~ That poem is absolutely beautiful! And I miss my daily chats with my mom too. I used to call her every day on my way to work and every afternoon on my way home. We didn't talk about much, but those sweet conversations about nothing were priceless!

    Praying for during this difficult time! God is able to comfort our broken hearts.

  22. I lost my mom Memorial Day 2010.I just wrote this yesterday. It's simple but to the point:
    Dear Mom….Your wisdom taught me. Your laughter eased me. Your love softened me. Your character molded me. Your discipline strengthened me. You're smile warmed me. You're in me. Growing up I was so different than you. Yet now….I find myself wishing I could be more like you. You're in my heart now and always. Everyday!!!!! I love you!!!! Happy Mother's Day. You're truly missed!!!!!

    Of all the things I miss….I miss being able to pick up the phone and call her at anytime the most. Everything else is encompassed by that 1 thing.

  23. My mom was killed in a car accident last year on Mother's Day. I have cried every day. This will be the first Mother's Day without her and May 9th will the one year anniversary of the accident. I miss her everyday and will forever.

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  25. Kathy ~ Oh how terrible! You're Mother's Day must be doubly difficult! My heart hurts for yours, but I know our God is able to speak peace to our hearts in the midst of times like these! I'm praying for you to experience His peace in a way you never expected.

  26. Anonymous ~Anonymous ~ What beautiful words to express the way your mother's life made a difference in yours. I'm like you…I really miss the daily phone conversations with my mom. I still pick up the phone to call her now and then remember she's not there.

    I pray God will bring peace and comfort to you during this difficult time!

  27. My sweet mom passed away on Thanksgiving Day 2010. Yesterday was my first mother's day without her and it really hurts. My dad passed away 4 months before she did. I think about both of them every day and cry every day. People tell me that things will get better with time, but will they?

  28. Anonymous ~ My heart hurts desperately for yours, sweet friend! Losing two parents so close together is just heart wrenching. I know that losing your mom on Thanksgiving Day completely changes the dynamics of every Thanksgiving Day from here on out.

    I want you to be assured that I am praying for you and God has used your comment, along with so many others, to promot my heart to begin a series to comfort those who are mourning.

    I hope you will come back and walk with me through this difficult time of our lives!

    God hears the cry of your heart, my friend! And I am praying for you to find healing for your hurting heart.

  29. I'm 65, male, and mom died May 2nd, 2012. I miss her more each passing day.
    She was:
    nice
    uncomplicated
    soft
    easy
    loving
    at home in her kitchen
    a beacon
    consistant
    67 years a Mom
    70 years a wife

  30. This Sunday will be the second Mother's Day without my mom to hug and tell her how much she means to me. And even though several months have passed since her “homegoing”, the freshness of her loss is keenly felt. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of my mom!
    She was:
    always a lady
    gracious in all situations
    a cheerful giver
    hospitable and made delicious food
    constant in her faith
    fervent in her prayers
    lavish with unconditional love
    a loyal friend
    a lover of God and His Word
    a possessor of the fruit of the Spirit

    I know that I will see her again someday, but until then I hope that I can make her proud by being the daughter she raised me to me!
    Thanks, Mom! I love you!

  31. My mom suffered a stroke on Dec. 1, 2011 and although it could have been much worse it has significantly impacted the way my mom is today. I miss her sharp mind, positive outlook, and ability to focus more on others' needs than her own needs of daily living. Today she is in a nursing home and dependent on others for her mobility, etc. However, this has taught me how important the simple things in life are and that our actual needs are very few compared to our worldly wants. I asked her what she would like to do for Mother's Day and her request was simple. I will be going through the McDonald's drive-thru to get her a Big Mac for her special Mother's Day dinner. I remember all the delicious banquet-style meals she made for me over the years and it seems ironic that McDonald's is now her dream of a special meal! So, she and I will spend our day “feasting” on fast food and enjoying each others company. No doubt it will be one of our more special Mother's Days due to it's simplicity. I feel very blessed to get to spend time with my mom today!

  32. Anonymous, thank you so much for sharing that about your mom! You may be a 65 year old man, but you're still her son and it sounds like you loved your momma well! So sorry for your loss!

  33. Dona, I remember you and I lost our moms the same year. Mother's Day is definitely different without her. But I'm so thankful for sweet memories that encourage my heart and on a day when I should be celebrating her, I still can! 🙂

  34. Colleen, what a journey you and your mom have been on! Definitely not an easy one for either of you! But I love how simple things like a Big Mac with her daughter can make a mother's heart smile… and make her daughter glad she was able to take her to the home of the golden arches.

    What a precious time you two must have had!

  35. Stephanie, you have been on my mind all weekend. I read your blog post and immediately I felt the need to put my emotions in writing on my blog. I had a wonderful Mother's Day with my daughters and grandchildren, but as you stated above, “Mother's Day is definitely different without your Mother”. Love you, and hope you had a great Mother's Day!

  36. Hi Stephanie~ I lost my mother 7 months ago. This will be my first Mother’s Day without her. My heart hurts and I know that you understand. I have shared about her some on my own blog and pray it brings glory to God, for I know He has a beautiful purpose for my pain. Cancer took a lot from our family, but it only strengthened my faith in our good and gracious Jehovah Rapha. Our mother’s faith has been made sight. Their joy is unending! Your tribute is beautiful- thank you sister. God bless, Tracy Steel

    • Tracy,
      I’m SO sorry about your loss. There’s nothing like having a mother and there’s nothing like losing one. I’m so glad you have shared about it for those who are going through the same thing. I’d love to go read it! What’s your website url?

  37. I miss so many things. My mom always, and I mean always blew me a kiss as I would drive away from her home.

    • Dave, thanks so much for stopping by and sharing about your mom. Mother’s Day is definitely different when they’re gone.

  38. Praying for you, precious friend. (((((((((((Stephanie)))))))))))

  39. Stephanie, I have no idea how I am going to handle Mothers Day tomorrow!! I am a basket of emotions already!! I walk into the living room and see her empty chair and think no one understands!! You know the tulmoltuos relationship we had and now knowing that she is with the Lord should make me feel better but I want her here now that she knows the Lord so we can enjoy each other as sisters in the Lord!! I have grown to love her so much and not have those angry feelings and I want her here with me!!!!

    • Oh how hard I know it will be my sweet friend! But I know your momma is with Jesus and the beautiful thing is that God not only used you to reach her for Christ, but gave you precious time with her that you will always treasure! HUGS to you!

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