Are We Dummying Down Motherhood?


I’ve seen the quote above a ton of times in social media circles and every time I read it, I have to admit it makes my heart sad and I can’t help but wonder…would Mrs. Proverbs 31 have agreed with that statement?

In our attempt to meet moms where we are, is it possible that we’re leaving ourselves to bask in our weaknesses?

I realize that quotes likes these are meant to make us moms feel better on those days when life is hard and our homes look like a tornado just went through it..but my fear is that what was meant to meet us where we are has become the very words that keep us there.

The Proverbs 31 woman has always been intimidating to me. She’s like the unattainable Pinterest perfect woman we all long to be but never feel like we can become.

But have we quit trying to become the best wife, mom, and even Christian we can be because we have come to the conclusion that we will never be the Proverbs 31 woman so why try?

Lately, it seems the banner for Christian women has become, “I’m okay. You’re okay. We’re all okay just like we are.”

In a sense that’s true if we are in Christ, He accepts us as we are because we are His.

But okay isn’t where we are supposed to stay. Because we are His we have been given the power and the passion to be more than what we can be in our own strength.

Life happens and sticky floors are a reality, but is the way motherhood is being presented these days a reflection of what we’re called to? Does it look anything like the example we are given in Proverbs 31? Are we teaching Proverbs 31 yet living as though it doesn’t exist?

So, I wanted to get some conversation started. Do you think we are dummying down motherhood?

One Comment

  1. The Pr 31 woman wasn’t written to make us feel intimidated. The definition of intimidate is to make timid or fearful. 2 Tim 1:7 states, “God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” Therefore, if we feel intimidate or condemned when we read about the Pr 31 woman, that’s a good indication that we need to study and seek God for a richer and fuller understanding that’s not fear based.

    With that being said, the Pr 31 woman is composite of several virtuous women documented throughout the Bible. In other words, many of the virtuous women listed in the Bible had charcteristics in common with the Pr 31 woman.

    A wife of noble character who can find? (Pr 31:10A)
    Ruth was know as a woman of noble character (Ru 3:11).
    Like the Pro 31 woman, Lydia was a woman of noble character. The name “Lydia” means noble. … she is clothed in fine linen and purple (Pr 31:22 B). Lydia sold purple cloth (Ac 16:14). Both Lydia and the Pro 31 woman were merchants.

    She has been like a merchant’s ship that brings its merchandise from far away (Pr 31:14).
    The Queen of Sheba literally brought Solomon large quantities of spices from far away. (1 Ki 10:6-10).
    Reward her for her work— let her actions result in public praise (Pr 31:31).
    The Queen of Sheba’s quest for wisdom brought her public praise. Queen of Sheba is one of the few women Jesus celebrates from the OT(Ma 12:42). She came from afar to hear the wisdom of a mere man. She was amazed at what she saw and heard. However, when Jesus who was greater than Solomon came, many despised, rejected, slighted and slandered Him.

    Doesn’t let her lamp go out… (Pr 31:18b).
    The wise virgins in the parable didn’t let their lamps to go out, and they were prepared when Bridegroom came (Ma 25:1-12). Anna’s lamp didn’t go out at night because she worshiped God day and night by fasting and praying (Lu 2:36-38).

    Helps the poor (Pr 31:20). Dorcas helped the poor (Ac 9:36).

    … speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue (Pr 31:26).
    Wise Woman of Abel’s wise words helped saved her city (2 Sa 20:19-22).
    Pilate’s wife spoke with wisdom (Ma 27:19).
    Huldah spoke with wisdom and sent the king a message from God (2 Ki 22:14-20).
    Deborah wisely instructed the people of Israel (Ju chapter 4 & 5).
    Esther spoke wisely to the king and helped save the Jews from annihilation (Book of Esther). Priscilla helped her husband give Apollos wise and faithful instruction (Ac 18:26).
    Abigail spoke wise words to David. As a result, David decided not to kill her husband and the other men in her household (1 Sam 25:23).

    She watches over the affairs of her household (Pr 31:27a).
    Rahab “watched over the affairs of her household.” She wisely and faithfully “instructed” the spies about how to hide and escape. She negotiated a plan that saved her life and the lives of those in her house (He 11:31).

    Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all (Pr 31:29). These women were also called blessed:
    Most blessed among women is Jael, the wife of Heber the Kenite. May she be blessed above all women who live in tents (Ju 5:24).
    Mary – Thou that art highly favored, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among
    women (Lu 1:28).

    She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life (Pr 31:12).
    Because of Zipporah’s proactivity, God’s anger against Moses was calmed and his life was spared (Ex 4:14-20).

    If you really study the women who shared traits with the Pr 31 woman, you’ll discover that none of them were perfect. However, God still used them for his glory and loved them.

    Unfortunately, this idea of the perfect woman that society (Christian and otherwise) has created and nurtured is a myth that can lead to self condemnation and fear which is not God’s will for us. That’s the mentality that a lot of women have began to realize, and they are actively moving away from it.

    The other thing that people tend to forget, omit, overlook and/or ignore about the Pr 31 woman is that she had help – female servants (v.15). However, perhaps more often than not, modern wives and moms don’t have servants to help them manage their households and families. Perhaps, more often than not, modern wives and moms have to manage their families and keep house all by themselves which is a responsibility that the Pr 31 woman didn’t have because she had help – servant(s). That’s plural. She had more than one. Therefore, modern women may face some challenges that the Pr 31 woman didn’t. Likewise, I’m sure the Pr 31 woman faced challenges that modern women don’t.

    I hope this helps address your question and serves as food for thought.

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