Pinch Me

As I casually strolled into the bookstore, scanning the newly inventoried shelves, I was ready to place my order when Kaye looked at me with a whimsical grin on her face and cheerfully announced, “I bought your book.” I had no clue what she was talking about. I hadn’t even received the first edit yet…how could she have bought my book? My mind began racing, “Oh please tell me they didn’t publish it without editing it. How could that be?” I was momentarily in a state of panicked confusion.

Kaye quickly put me out of my misery as she took me back to her office, slid a catalog out of her files and pointed at a book on top right hand corner. There it was, Ecclesiastes: Understanding What Matters Most by Stephanie Shott. I couldn’t believe it. My book was already in AMG’s catalog! Since I’m a newbie to the writing and publishing world, I had no idea publishers promote several months in advance of production.

After jumping up and down like a giddy little school girl, I couldn’t help but reflect on the goodness of God. My excitement wasn’t really because my name was found on the bottom of a book, but because I felt as though the Lord had just given me a big hug of confirmation. He certainly does exceedingly, abundantly above all we ask or think!

Later, I found my book was available on Amazon for pre-orders. Amazing! I never really knew why I was writing it and now I’m looking at it on Amazon. Honestly, the way the Lord brought all the pieces of the puzzle together to land this book on the bookshelves, I believe, with all my heart, He will use it to minister to others for His glory. Wow! That’s all I want my life to be about…to know Him and to make Him known!

That’s the good news.

My emotions quickly took a nosedive when I found out my birthmom has an aggressive form of breast cancer that has spread more quickly than they had originally thought. It’s in her breast, lymph nodes, ribs and pelvis. They begin administering a very strong dose of chemo today in hopes of attacking her stage four cancer.

Then, there’s my mom whose lung cancer has spread to her adrenal glands and her ribs. She weighs about 110 lbs. She may have lost weight, but she hasn’t lost an ounce of spunk. It’s sad to know that unless the Lord chooses to heal her, she probably won’t make it to her 77th birthday in July.

How is it possible that my birthmom is now traveling down the same road my mom has been on for the past several years. I love them both dearly and my heart breaks for them. I realize I’m a blessed woman to have the love of two wonderful mothers. One who loved me enough to raise me as her own and the other who would look past the pain of rape and choose life for me instead. So, watching them walk through such a painful process at the same time is doubly difficult for me.

So, somebody pinch me. Can it be true that my book is finally making its way to the shelves? Oh God, You are so awesome! You fulfill Your work in us. You establish and confirm the works of our hands. You really do exceedingly, abundantly above all we can ask or think! I trust You.

So, somebody pinch me. Can it be true that both my moms are suffering from cancer? Oh, God, You are still so awesome! Your grace is sufficient. Your peace beyond understanding. Your love never fails. Your mercy is new each morning. You are forever good. You are forever God! I trust You.


  1. Congratulations!! He is worthy to be praised. They will be healed!!!! In Jesus name!!

  2. Oh, Stephanie, I'm so sorry to hear about your two moms. Indeed, you are very blessed to have two loving mothers. I know the Lord hears the prayers said for them and will carry out His purpose, whether it is healing on this side of heaven or in His presence. Will pray for them both. I know you are experiencing bittersweet emotions. So congratulations on the book. Praying!

  3. Hi Stephanie, Your mom's will be in my prayers. Please keep us informed update us on twitter for specific prayers for both of them. I walked down this path last year with my mom she was stage 3 with inflammatory breast cancer in left and stage 2 in the right. The hardest part for both of them might be the hair loss so be prepared. It was so hard for my mom even though her hair was short before it was just the idea of losing it. There are many beautiful scarfs that can be found if you would like a link I can get one from my mom. I am so excited to have preordered your book yesterday. Take care! God Bless!(welovereagan)

  4. Stephanie – I'm so sorry about your mama (both of them). Yes…God is still good! and He is still Love.

    I would still be in shock, I think. I'm glad He is NEVER surprised by anything!

  5. A Note To Emily, Lynn, Nikki & Donna (wordwraglernc),
    You all are so gracious to pray for our family and encourage me with such sincerely sweet words! I'm overwhelmed by God's goodness to allow me the privilege of knowing such wonderful women of God…even if it's only through cyberspace.
    Eternally His,
    Phil 3:7-14

  6. Stephanie congrats on your book!! I bet that was so exciting!! So sorry about your Mom's I realy hate cancer!! My grandmother was diagnosed with lung cancer when I was 13 she only had 6 months to live. So my mom packed up all 6 of her kids and her and my step dad moved us all out here from California. What a life change it was. I want you to know that after a camp meet where my grandmother said she was healed the doctor's couldn't find any trace of her cancer!! She did pass away back in 2004 but I was 40 years old!! God healed her so that we had 27 more years with her! So I know you don't doubt it but He does still heal!!! Have a blessed day!!

  7. Thank you, Valerie, for such encouraging words! I'm praying God will heal both moms! He is God. He changes not. He is the Great Physician. Nothing is impossible with Him. I trust Him!
    Thanks again!
    Phil 3:7-14

  8. I'm so EXCITED for you about your book! I am on the very, very beginning end of a project I know God has laid on my heart, so it is exciting to hear from someone farther down the path. Well done for doing what He called you to do, and praise the Lord for choosing to use even us!

    I'm so sorry to hear about your moms. I had written this post a few months ago as I was working through the book of Ecclesiastes and reflecting on our struggle with death. I pray you are encouraged by the fact that Jesus weeps with us.

  9. Kristi,
    Thanks so much for the encouraging words. Some seasons we go through seems so difficult, but each prayer and each word of comfort reminds me that we are never alone in our circumstances.
    Thanks again!
    Phil 3:7-14

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