“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Phil 3:12-14
I recently had the privilege of writing an article that was published in the P31 Woman Magazine entitled, Diary of a Domestic Diva Wannabe. Those of you who know me are well aware of the fact that I don’t even try to make excuses any more. When I’m in a pinch, I readily call the professionals…and you know who you are.
But the article was about much more than my lack of expertise in all things domestic. It shed light on the dark areas of our hearts where we see ourselves through the lens of someone else’s life and feel “less than.”
We all know that God is not a respecter of persons. In His equation, we are not less than, but equal to.
Sounds good. Even biblical. In fact, I walked this path before where I wrestled my inferior heart to the ground and battled feelings of inferiority until the Truth of God’s Word arose victorious.
But there I was, getting ready to make a very important phone call to a very important person and I found myself as nervous as a giddy little school girl. Words tumbled out of my mouth like a overpacked closet full of junk.
All I could think was, “This is really not the time to be as goofy as you are, Stephanie.”
But why did I struggle with a simple conversation? Why did I feel so inferior? Yes, when it comes to the topic of our conversation, this sweet woman is definitely more knowledgeable than I am, but it really is just one person talking to another to see if we will be a good fit for future projects.
Why do we get nervous when we go in for a job interview? Why do our knees knock when we stand up to speak to others? Why do we feel awkwardly anxious when we have to talk to someone in authority?
To be honest, I’m a girl who has a lot of relearning to do. The question is, how many times do I have to travel this same road before I’m able to say I’ve conquered it?
Even though I know what God’s Word says…I find myself struggling to walk in what I know to be true. The weakness of our humanity has a way of doing that.
Today, I remember that in God’s equation of things, no one is less than…but equal to.
Tomorrow, I might need to take that trek again. But I’m still relearning. And I’m going to keep relearning until I can look back and see that path laced with grace and covered with trophies of victory.
What about you? What are you still relearning?
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