The Making of a Marriage – Trust Me

I remember reading Proverbs 31 in preparation for a message I was sharing at conference when verses 10 and 11 jumped off the page as if I had just read them for the first time.

The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” 
While I love the way the King James reads, I was stunned by words I had read umpteen times. Confronted by my life as a wife and burdened for the hundreds of women I would be speaking to in the coming week, I began to dig deep to try to discover the depth of those words.

“Her husband safely trusts in her” echoed in my heart and I was afraid this passage was much more powerful than I had ever realized.

Did my husband ‘safely’ trust in me? Could he? 

After all, there were those times when I went to the store and bought something I conveniently hid in the closet long enough to honestly say, “This old thing? I’ve had it for months!”

Isn’t it funny how we can fool ourselves into thinking we’re being honest by manipulating the circumstances so we can appear honest when our hearts are obviously deceitfully wicked?

That was several years ago and as I used those verses as a mirror to reflect where I was in light of where God’s Word called me to be, I knew it was time to  get honest with myself and deal with my own heart. 

Today, I want to share with you some things we should consider in order to live our lives in such a way that those words can be said of us… Her husband does safely trust in her.


1. Can my husband trust me with my heart? Many women may consider themselves trustworthy but their hearts often wander far from home when the going gets tough or when they feel frustrated or forgotten. Can your husband trust you to NOT be a flirt with his friends? Does he know that you will be loyal to him whether you’re together or apart? Does he know that you LOVE him and have his best interest at heart?

2. Can my husband trust me with the credit cards? Financial problems are one of the main source of contention in a home, yet oftentimes wives will spend enormous amounts of money on things they don’t need. I realize some men do the same things, but we can’t change them. We can only live lives that honor God regardless of what our husbands do. Can your husband trust you with your credit cards?

3. Can my husband trust me with the checkbook? Yes. I know we’re still talking about finances here but credit cards get you in debt while the checkbook can immediately put you in the red. Look at it like this – Credit cards are a slow death. Writing bad checks is a quick one. Don’t let finances be the death of your husband’s trust, sweet friend. Can your husband trust you with the checkbook?

4. Can my husband trust me with your words? We talked a little about words earlier in this series, but words wield some mighty power. Does your husband know that even if you’re mad as can possibly be at him that you won’t wound his reputation with your words? Can he trust you not to slice and dice him with the words you say in front of his friends? Does he know you will speak life to him and about him and not death? Can he trust that you won’t say something you shouldn’t say in front of others… that you won’t embarrass him with your words or argue with him in front of others? Are your words an ornament of grace or like a ring in a pig’s snout?

5. Can my husband trust you with my work? Does your husband know that you are the manager of the home and that you will do it well? Can he trust you to take care of your home, the business aspects of your home (if he doesn’t do that) and the things that will keep your home running smoothly. I realize there are many women who work and husbands and wives may both be pulling the load around the house and that’s good if they both work… but if a woman stays home while her husband works then she can focus much more attention on taking care of the home front  while he is bringing home the bacon. Can your husband trust you to do that?

The heart of her husband does safely trust in her… can your husband say that about you?


  1. Love this post! My husband I were just talking about this very thing last night in reference to a problem a friend of ours is having. I am so blessed! We both ageed that we can totally trust each other and there are no secrets or lies that get in the way of our marriage. Life has not always been pretty. We went through some really hard financial times when my husband lost his job, but throughtout this ordeal, the love and trust we have for each other and only by the grace of God, we survived and are much stronger for it now than ever.

    Would love your permission to share on my blog and maybe reach a few on my very own friends with your beautiful message. Thank you and love to you!

  2. Ditto to all that Kelly said. And at this stage of my life, I can answer YES to all your questions. Great post, Stephie!

  3. Kelly,

    Thanks for all the encouraging comments and I'd be honored for you to share this post.

    I've been counseling women for years and a very common thing is that women often will think (and say) they are honest and very trustworthy, but they are sneaking credit card purchases or they are being untrustworthy with their words.

    Hard truths but ones that can make or break a marriage.

    Thanks for sharing that!

  4. Lynn,

    Thanks so much Lynn! You are so precious!

    Thanks for all the ways you encourage me! 🙂

  5. Very compelling and thought provoking. I shared this with my husband.

  6. Thanks Laura! Trust is such an important aspect of marriage! 🙂

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